Sitbuncip is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, impressive porpoise.

Sitbuncip created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitbuncip, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sitbuncip, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Sitbuncip's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Sitbuncip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Sitbuncip's name in vain.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Do not speak about garlic.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.