Bumpitfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, self-assured bat.

Bumpitfeb created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bumpitfeb, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bumpitfeb, she will not care at all.

Bumpitfeb's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Bumpitfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

3. Bumpitfeb loves horses, so they must be honoured.

4. Never eat melons.

5. Do not shave your feet.