Tofvonkyim is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, awesome weasel.

Tofvonkyim created everything that exists nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofvonkyim, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tofvonkyim, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Tofvonkyim's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Tofvonkyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Tofvonkyim loves birds, so they must be honoured.