Yakmapvon Lopfligbess Joparnfitgepxem is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, passionate goat.

Yakmapvon Lopfligbess Joparnfitgepxem created everything that exists six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakmapvon Lopfligbess Joparnfitgepxem, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yakmapvon Lopfligbess Joparnfitgepxem, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Yakmapvon Lopfligbess Joparnfitgepxem's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Yakmapvon Lopfligbess Joparnfitgepxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

3. Retreat if seven otters approach from the west.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

5. Do not chop down trees.