Flatbonfab is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, dishonest fly.

Flatbonfab created the solar system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatbonfab, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flatbonfab, she will turn you into a dog.

Flatbonfab's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Flatbonfab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from black manatees for they are unholy.

2. Run away if three frogs approach from the east.

3. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.