Sidvanjen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, narcissistic tapir.

Sidvanjen created the Sunflower Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidvanjen, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sidvanjen, it will turn you into a rat.

Sidvanjen's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Sidvanjen's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry gulls.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.