Cittandidjarnpakbam is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, uncaring deer.

Cittandidjarnpakbam created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cittandidjarnpakbam, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cittandidjarnpakbam, he will turn you into a rat.

Cittandidjarnpakbam's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Cittandidjarnpakbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always help voles in need.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Do not stand on grass.