Femyikcap is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, stupid guinea pig.

Femyikcap created bats two million years ago.

If you believe in Femyikcap, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Femyikcap, it will refuse to believe in you.

Femyikcap's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Femyikcap's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four shrews approach from the west.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never play with disobedient children.