Hamponbut is a god.

It takes the form of a small, tranquil coyote.

Hamponbut created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamponbut, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hamponbut, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Hamponbut's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Hamponbut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

2. Never eat turnips.

3. Worship no other gods but Hamponbut.

4. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

5. Always help capybaras.