Vonhadpin is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonest cow.

Vonhadpin created the planet Jupiter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonhadpin, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vonhadpin, it will not invite you to parties.

Vonhadpin's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Vonhadpin's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Hide if seven birds approach from the east.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.