Carbastwip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, effective lizard.

Carbastwip created water eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Carbastwip, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Carbastwip, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Carbastwip's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Carbastwip's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Carbastwip.

5. Hide if nine monkeys approach from the south.