Bodwitcun is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, cheerful cow.

Bodwitcun created energy two years ago.

If you believe in Bodwitcun, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bodwitcun, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bodwitcun's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Bodwitcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Put Bodwitcun first in all things.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never talk about badgers.