Nartnatquam Gepfossvig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, staggering human.

Nartnatquam Gepfossvig created the Sombrero Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartnatquam Gepfossvig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nartnatquam Gepfossvig, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nartnatquam Gepfossvig's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Nartnatquam Gepfossvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs pink.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Nartnatquam Gepfossvig.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Nartnatquam Gepfossvig loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.