Haptonkboggidfit is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, astonishing goose.

Haptonkboggidfit created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Haptonkboggidfit, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Haptonkboggidfit, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Haptonkboggidfit's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Haptonkboggidfit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about ants.

5. Always treat mice with great respect.