Nartmobmad is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, egotistical beaver.

Nartmobmad created the Sunflower Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartmobmad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nartmobmad, he will turn you into a hamster.

Nartmobmad's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Nartmobmad's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Never hurt sharks.

4. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.