Cepgunpog is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, cheerful weasel.

Cepgunpog created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cepgunpog, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cepgunpog, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cepgunpog's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Cepgunpog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Erect nine zinc sculptures of Cepgunpog on top of important buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not chop down trees.