Yamdabnak is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, staggering human.

Yamdabnak created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamdabnak, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yamdabnak, it will turn you into a slug.

Yamdabnak's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Yamdabnak's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry sharks.

2. Yamdabnak loves turtles, so they must be respected.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always help shrews.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.