Jenhotnab is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, slow dryad.

Jenhotnab created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenhotnab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jenhotnab, it will not care.

Jenhotnab's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jenhotnab's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Jenhotnab must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not take Jenhotnab's name in vain.