Nellgemcar is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, narcissistic camel.

Nellgemcar created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nellgemcar, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nellgemcar, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Nellgemcar's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Nellgemcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always look after injured badgers.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Never laugh near ants.

5. Do not dye your hair indigo.