Quimmutmetpoddonbessken is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, slow shark.

Quimmutmetpoddonbessken created dark matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimmutmetpoddonbessken, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quimmutmetpoddonbessken, he will try to impress you with trees.

Quimmutmetpoddonbessken's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Quimmutmetpoddonbessken's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. You must never eat tomatoes.