Sugbeglab is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, self-confident giraffe.

Sugbeglab created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sugbeglab, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Sugbeglab, he will turn you into a hamster.

Sugbeglab's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Sugbeglab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sugbeglab.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.