Teenpopbin is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, passionate walrus.

Teenpopbin created a bottom quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Teenpopbin, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Teenpopbin, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Teenpopbin's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Teenpopbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Worship no other gods but Teenpopbin.

5. Retreat if four shrews approach from the north.