Hamvadbed is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish manatee.

Hamvadbed created life four million years ago.

If you believe in Hamvadbed, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hamvadbed, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hamvadbed's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Hamvadbed's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Never mention cats.