Fobkapzag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish guinea pig.

Fobkapzag created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fobkapzag, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fobkapzag, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fobkapzag's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Fobkapzag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Hide from gray sharks for they are unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fobkapzag.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.