Wattimzag is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, kind faun.

Wattimzag created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wattimzag, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wattimzag, she will not care.

Wattimzag's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Wattimzag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Wattimzag must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never mention moths.

5. Always help rats in need.