Sogdaplik is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, awe-inspiring scorpion.

Sogdaplik created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Sogdaplik, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sogdaplik, she will turn you into a slug.

Sogdaplik's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Sogdaplik's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick otters.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never think ill of sick tortoises.