Bafparkyatt is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying capybara.

Bafparkyatt created matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafparkyatt, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bafparkyatt, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Bafparkyatt's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Bafparkyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not take Bafparkyatt's name in vain.

5. Always pray immersed in water.