Butmaphab is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, witless weasel.

Butmaphab created bats four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Butmaphab, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Butmaphab, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Butmaphab's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Butmaphab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick manatees.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always obey Butmaphab's priests.

5. Never jump in holy places.