Labzagbam is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, effective guinea pig.

Labzagbam created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Labzagbam, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Labzagbam, he will manifest in front of you.

Labzagbam's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Labzagbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear red clothing.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Labzagbam on top of all buildings.

5. Do not commit murder.