Tettiraktetti is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, amazing swallow.

Tettiraktetti created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettiraktetti, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tettiraktetti, she will turn you into a mole.

Tettiraktetti's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Tettiraktetti's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tettiraktetti first in all things.

2. Feed all hungry hamsters.

3. Always help sick sheep.

4. Do not speak about limes.

5. Respect your elders.