Kapsagnar Jadgigcidfon is a god.

She takes the form of a small, unfair cow.

Kapsagnar Jadgigcidfon created dark matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapsagnar Jadgigcidfon, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kapsagnar Jadgigcidfon, she will laugh at you.

Kapsagnar Jadgigcidfon's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Kapsagnar Jadgigcidfon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never sing in the presence of badgers.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Retreat if six mice approach from the north.