Besskemcid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, moody dugong.

Besskemcid created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Besskemcid, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Besskemcid, he will turn you into a rock.

Besskemcid's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Besskemcid's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Always help doves.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.