Arnzinyess is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awe-inspiring badger.

Arnzinyess created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnzinyess, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Arnzinyess, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Arnzinyess' most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Arnzinyess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Run away from turquoise dogs, for they are unholy.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always take life seriously.