Quillarnmut is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonourable meerkat.

Quillarnmut created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillarnmut, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Quillarnmut, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quillarnmut's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Quillarnmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Hide from blue goats for they are unholy.

3. Always help shrews in need.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.
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