Bumcenyok is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, sage snail.

Bumcenyok created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumcenyok, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bumcenyok, she will turn you into a worm.

Bumcenyok's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bumcenyok's Holy Commandments

1. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bumcenyok.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Never paint your neck turquoise.

5. Always obey Bumcenyok's priests.