Lapcusslimcutsabgepkomteen is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, selfish dryad.

Lapcusslimcutsabgepkomteen created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapcusslimcutsabgepkomteen, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lapcusslimcutsabgepkomteen, it will ignore you.

Lapcusslimcutsabgepkomteen's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Lapcusslimcutsabgepkomteen's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

3. Never hurt whales.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.