Kipflapton is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, witty goose.

Kipflapton created the Cigar Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kipflapton, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kipflapton, she will turn you into a dog.

Kipflapton's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Kipflapton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Kipflapton on top of all buildings.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. You must love Kipflapton.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.