Narttimtof is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, tiresome toad.

Narttimtof created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Narttimtof, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Narttimtof, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Narttimtof's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Narttimtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat grapes.

2. Never hurt eagles.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Always look after injured moths.