Quatwaning is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humorless unicorn.

Quatwaning created the Tadpole Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatwaning, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quatwaning, she will manifest in front of you.

Quatwaning's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Quatwaning's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quatwaning.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.