Bonksitwod is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, witless crocodile.

Bonksitwod created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonksitwod, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bonksitwod, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bonksitwod's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Bonksitwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Put Bonksitwod first in all things.

3. Always help gulls in need.

4. Never run near eagles.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.