Vonwapjig is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, slow yak.

Vonwapjig created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vonwapjig, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Vonwapjig, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vonwapjig's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Vonwapjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not eat rice.