Bastmonyart Gadbasslinbem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, intelligent faun.

Bastmonyart Gadbasslinbem created Africa seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bastmonyart Gadbasslinbem, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bastmonyart Gadbasslinbem, it will turn you into a duck.

Bastmonyart Gadbasslinbem's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bastmonyart Gadbasslinbem's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always help badgers in need.