Quamnurl Tonkhakkin is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, generous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Quamnurl Tonkhakkin created the planet Jupiter two years ago.

If you believe in Quamnurl Tonkhakkin, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quamnurl Tonkhakkin, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Quamnurl Tonkhakkin's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Quamnurl Tonkhakkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.