Gessdidapp is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unfair donkey.

Gessdidapp created time and space seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gessdidapp, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gessdidapp, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gessdidapp's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Gessdidapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never think ill of sick voles.

3. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.