Xuckfaryar Dagmetnel is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, effective guinea pig.

Xuckfaryar Dagmetnel created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuckfaryar Dagmetnel, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xuckfaryar Dagmetnel, she will remove you from existence.

Xuckfaryar Dagmetnel's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Xuckfaryar Dagmetnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Xuckfaryar Dagmetnel on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

5. Never eat bark.