Rakstafkab is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unfair rat.

Rakstafkab created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Rakstafkab, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Rakstafkab, it will turn you into a slug.

Rakstafkab's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Rakstafkab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six pigs approach from the south.

2. Never bounce in the presence of moths.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.