Righugvonk is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unthinking faun.

Righugvonk created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Righugvonk, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Righugvonk, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Righugvonk's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Righugvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Righugvonk.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

3. Run away from turquoise great tits, for they are unholy.

4. Hide if seven foxes approach from the east.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.