Yarfudnig is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, smart turtle.

Yarfudnig created parasitic wasps nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarfudnig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yarfudnig, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Yarfudnig's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yarfudnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck mauve.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Run away from violet hamsters, for they are unholy.