Dosstipkin is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, caring porpoise.

Dosstipkin created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dosstipkin, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dosstipkin, she will send you a sign.

Dosstipkin's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Dosstipkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Worship no other gods but Dosstipkin.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.