Witfidfad is a god.

She takes the form of a large, clever cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Witfidfad created viruses three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witfidfad, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Witfidfad, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Witfidfad's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Witfidfad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Witfidfad.

5. Do not cook food in pots.